Last meet up

So Begum and I have been planning this hangout since very long ago but every time

 something must disturb our plan.But finally..we decided to meet up for one time before

 she and Zat leave for matrics :(

Picked Zat up and we headed for Jusco.(where else?)

Its so soo nice to see after some time.The last time we met was when Mel was still around.

And I didnt get to even see her on results day,so sad :(

So we were so happy to see each other again.

Went for Japanese food.again.

 Me and the cutie pie! ;)

We ate and catched up on each other.

Man..so much laughter I had that day.We were probably the noisiest table there.

Even the sushi chefs kept staring at us.Oopsies!

Maybe its because we didnt meet up so long and we missed each other jokes,we laughed at almost every single word we talked.hahaha.

What to do next?

What else can we do in jusco btw?Wanted to play bowling but too bad I wasnt 

wearing any socks so..yeah :/

Mentioned about going for karaoke but everybody knows how expensive Kbox is.

But then again,we decided to take a look at the price again.

OMG.Its so cheap right now.only RM12++ per person and you can sing from 1.00pm to 8.00pm.

So yes,we screamed our lungs out in karaoke.

So much fun! 

Zat was so pressured when she realised that she was going to sing with the

 choir conductress and the choir girl.ahahah but seems like Zat was so so hyper.

All in all,a very good day.

So gonna miss these two girls,on a brighter note,

We will meet on Hari Raya! :D

18th,again?

Been so long since I meet up with the childhood buddies.

So we made up an appointment for dinner on Thursday night.
Well well,I waited and waited for Ching to come and pick me up about 8 plus.
No replies from Darren and so I thought,its okay,just me and Ching.

LOL waited and waited till i gave her a few texts.Still no reply!

And there came the reply at 9 saying that she fell asleep LOL!

Postponed it for lunch the next day.

This time again,went to Waraku Japanese restaurant for the set lunch again.

Catched up on each other a lil bit,gossips and stuffs.

And Darren just couldnt stop complaining about using an iPhone.
He's probably the leader for an anti-iPhone campaign.LOL.Left at about 2.10 cause Darren will have to attend his class at 2.30.So Ching and I drove to Jusco and
 thought we could check out on what movie is available.

Since she watched the Avengers,we bought Dark Shadows just 10 minutes before the movie started.how random!

Not bad,indeed.

Johnny Depp is seriously such a talented actor.He always manage to pull out different characters in all his movies.And I have to say,love how he transforms from one character to another.

Thumbs up!Anyway,this is quite a creepifying movie.Ching kept hanging onto my hand and we hid our faces when we knew something creepy was about to appear.Well,almost all Tim Burton movies has this scary effects but I gotta say I kinda like them!Everything in the movie is so vintage-ish!

Darren joined us an hour before the movie ended.Yeah,he ACTUALLY bought a ticket 

for the seat next to mine after his class.

Dropped by my house a lil while to get some stuffs.That two just couldnt stop going through my stuffs in the room.Correction : just Ching.hahah she even sprayed my Vera Wang Princess.LOL.
We then went on to Beacon Point.
Just for their lemon poppy seed cake.
AND RIGHT THERE,I was told to pretend that its my birthday.They requested for a candle from the waitress and told her that it was my birthday.hahaha random people!

Making my "birthday" wish

My "birthday" cake muffin :)

Camwhore attempt  take #1

Take #2

Take #3.

Ahhh finally a not so fancy,nice shot.LOL.

Couple tees yo!

Therefore I declare,11th May 2012 as World's most random day!

Oh well,we had fun :D

Interview

Soo..regine gave me a call while I was in KL to let me know that we can now check

 our application status for JPA scholarship.

and so I was called for the interview on Wednesday at 2.00pm.

To me,it wasnt really about getting it or not,I just want to have the interview experience 

(thought i've been to three before) .Whatever it is,I took it as a trial.

To get it or not,I shall let Him to decide :)

Was all well dressed up in decent formal attire and reach the velodrome before 1.30.

The first thing I did was to check on the list whether there will be any other familiar names that I will find.Nahh..only Renugah and the rest of them are total strangers to me.haha.

First of all,I was grouped with some people.There were suppose to be 8 people in a group but only 5 in my group (including myself) attended.We were briefed about the process.

The first room was the BM language room.

When I first heard that we were suppose to FULLY speak in bm in the room,I got a lil worried.

I mean come on,i cant remember the last time I spoke PROPER bm language.LOL.

   Then we were given two A4 papers,3 pencils,a piece of mahjong paper and two marker pens.

We were given a topic on "remaja larikan diri" something like that and we were suppose to discuss in our group right in front of the interviewers.

Well,all they want to see is our language and communication skills.

After all the discussions,we drew our ideas on the mahjong paper and presented like how we normally did at school.

The second room was the ENGISH language room.

Just like the first room,except that you'll present and discuss in english *phew!*

hahahah.my group's pretty cool,pretty open to each other and we communicated well!

For this time,we were given quite a tricky topic based on 1Malaysia.

But once again,it went fine.though its a little creepier than the first room.haha.

Finally,the last stage.

The REAL interviewing stage.Though we were interviewed individually,we still went in as a group.

In my group,4 out of 5 chose Germany.LOL.

Those usual questions were asked,why you wanna do this.why this country etc etc.

 

So thats it,Just wanna share out a little piece of my experience here.

Now,the waiting stage :)

Lift Me Up

#nowplaying Lift Me Up - Kate Voegele

Still blogging here from KL.

Realised that I need to share out my feelings as I really cant hold it in anymore.

Pretty much had a couple of rough nights.Reasons?Even I cant specify them.

Maybe its the emptiness.Maybe its the lack of hope.Maybe its every little chunk blended in one.

 Nobody really knows.I hid the feelings to well.Or maybe sis knows a little but really,I have been heartbroken.One of the reason why this post is because I really need to spill everything out!

March 21st.

It was probably one of those days where I felt so proud of myself.
One of those days where I felt like I've been living life so well.But who knew,the days after were rougher than before.

Took in parents advice to apply for all possible scholarships.
Well that was what I wanted to do too.What could have gone wrong?Sis had 'the talk' with me too.Years before,I ought to remind myself that my parents will not be able to pay for my higher education and the only way I can save myself is to strive really hard and obtain good results.Fortunately,I got what I worked hard for.Fair enough,at least.

So days passed by,hopes grew more.

First was UEM and I told myself,its okay.Its only one.

Then came UTP.but thats acceptable because only one in a family is allowed to have their scholarship.
So I am more than happy that bro got it.

And more and more and more.

Maybe I knew that I was dying inside but I lied to myself by telling that its okay.I lied to myself because the lie saves me.Ironic much huh?We humans rather believe in a soothing lie rather than a hurtful truth.I was fine.I really was.Remembered what sis told me when I was scholarships before the real SPM.

She said "dont worry.Better doors will open for you in the future"

and she said the same thing over and over again.I believe her.I listen.Until I couldnt take the lie anymore.

and now when she says the same thing,my mind automatically goes...

REALLY?OH I DONT SEE ANY OF THAT SO FAR.

I was fine.I THOUGHT i was.I accepted all the facts.

Besides,all I wanted is some closure.Some confirmation.and fair enough,I got the closures I wanted.

I just need to know that i HAVE to move on.The only thing that keeps me pleasant is having sis to back me up.She constantly lets me know that she only wants the best for me and keep me away from worrying about financial issues.Seriously,thats the only thing I was trying to keep in my mind.

Its really hard,you know.

It gets harder when your family members keep telling you how great you are
 and you're probably the smartest in the big family tree,but deep inside,behind closed doors,they dont really know who you are.This girl whom they thought was PERFECT is looking herself as a life failure.
How does that feels huh?

Skyped with Mel the other day.And I told her about some stuffs.She went..

"Tan Siow Jean also will have problem?You're always getting things right!"

Yeah thats what I thought too.perfect,huh?
Things may be worse when you usually have no one to worry about you.
People thinks that you're strong on your own and you could not go wrong.Oh you are so wrong.

Pretty little face,pretty brain huh?

I've always wanted to spill out to someone.

Sadly,there's just no one who really REALLY understands.and friends,they come and they go.I really had enough of those who keep promising me stuffs but break their promise in the end.

Not once,not twice.God knows how many times.Makes me feel like,it doesnt really matter anymore anyway.I need people who makes me feel better,not rub salt to the wound.

Honestly,this is not a sad post.
Its a form of release for me.It has NEVER been any easy for me to talk about all these.Kinda proud of myself to pour everything ( almost) out here.Once again,I really need a closure.Good or bad,I just need an end.Because if there's an end,there's gonna be another new beginning.

Trying to look up upon myself.
Its not gonna be easy but its something that has to be done.
Maybe people should look at me deep inside,not just the out.
Looking for a better reflection.

From KL with love

So cousins went off to help out with the new opening at Singapore.

Yay its expanding!Anyyyywayyy,bro called mum and I to come up to KL and accompany him.

Thats what we did.Took the train down here.Like finally I got my first train experience!wheee.

Before resting at home,we went down to Pavilion for some Jap food.yumss!

Stayed at home the whole day on the second day though.

No ones at home and only me,mummy and Aunt.So mum and I helped out to stick these new stuffs to the leaflets.

And I just came back from One U!

Its nice visiting back the old working place.Kinda miss the place and the crazy faces.

My mission to get a new cardigan was fulfilled!

Got a grey one.Wasnt really THAT cheap but I felt happy after spending some sum of money.

Plus,bought four more plain tees and sleeveless for college.Really reallly need to start hiding all my new clothes in order not to lose control and take it to wear.Need to save some for college :X

Be back soon!